I don’t have the bandwidth for all the people I want to show love to. I can’t possibly reach out to all of them in any consistently meaningful way and deliver the care and intimacy that they deserve.
This bothers me. Really it does.
I start conversations and leave them all the time. With plans to return maybe, but almost never do. I have essays from friends in my inboxes that I haven’t given the time of day.
It used to be that I would see them, here or there eventually. That I’d physically drop off that reminder. It used to be that all my love would find its way to them , so I’d not worry.
But I’m so far now. So far from so many people I love. I don’t want them to think they’ve been forgotten or they’re going unloved.
I just don’t have the energy to give them the love they deserve digitally.
I don’t have a solution yet. This is just an expression.
Art or whatever.